I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize