i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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