remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
