we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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