Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize