And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
