New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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