Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
