why didn't you poke me back
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize