Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
