I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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