ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
