i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He has the fingertips of a God
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