He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
