Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This girl is more easily done than said...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i love accidental penises.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
