there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize