I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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