Little spoons don't ask big questions
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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