The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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