YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
love makes seman taste better
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
