just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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