and you said cock pushups were impossible
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
