I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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