i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
