it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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