carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
