OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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