We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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