I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
