if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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