HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my liver is dry heaving
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
