so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
