why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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