So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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