dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
