The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
