maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
