You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize