I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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