I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
