i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
