Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
