Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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