Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Randomize
