did you get engaged???
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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