i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
