I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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