Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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