this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
