either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
