i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
