I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
