so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
