me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
