I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
