Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
