Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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