Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
