my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
