'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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