And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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