If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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