Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you traded sex for a burrito?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
