Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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