We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
