worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
