Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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