i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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