I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Where is the hickey?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
